Some things I could loose...

1. 50 pounds
2. Assuming much and as a result, demanding so much from so many people.
3. GC-ness. Need I mention laude is within reach but not quite enough? Haha...
4. Self-pity attitude. Though laude is no longer a possibility (thanks to two 5s in math), one should not wallow. I have committed myself to 12 units of pure effort next sem. The challenge is...I have committed to about five other things the same level.
5. Daydreaming tendencies. I don't want to loose the ability to imagine the good life for me and others I know entirely. I just want to set it aside and live...just live real.
6. Hesitation. I know what I want in life. I just am afraid at times to assert and grab the opportunity. This extends far beyond academic opportunities, by the way.
7. Disinterest in driving. I shall embark on a crash course journey to king of the road heights! There was always something to drive...just the will to drive it.
8. A rough edge in my voice. So I can sing a whole number of songs on my playlist.
9. Being to unrealistically good. In the words of Erika, "maging maalat ka naman." For the good of the rightist order and those I protect and love, I will take the bitter pill of rigidity and responsibility.
10. Papers. I stack readings and notes dating back to as far as grade school. My room is becoming a warehouse of recycable paper!
11. Clothes. Maybe give them to those who need them more.
12. Body sugar. I will loose that weight and all the burdens of my past. And guess what holds after that.

Another successful Council planning...another great great sem ahead. Poof goes the magic of the past semester. Here comes the coming of another dawn, another great day ahead. And need I mention great again?! God speed.

Code Name: Orange

I read the entry I had before this one and simply laughed at myself and the revelations I said. So this is how it feels to be young and human hahaha. Also did some reviewing of other blogs and felt a bit ashamed that whilst a good number of our foreign counterparts are talking about how to save the world, we rant about our everyday mediocrities. Ha, well my only answer is that we try to be ourselves in our entries and that can encompass several issue areas. It's private space anyhow.

Just the kind of mediocrity after taking 187-exam which to my mind is a real flunk-out. Anyhow...

FIRST DAY OF SEMBREAK! That ofcourse is technically speaking. Actually, I have no break. I have to take a couple of hours of tv and playing NBA Live as my virtual rest and to somehow bring back my energy to a good level. I mean the kind of high created by a couple of seconds of a sweet kiss. And boy did I get mine last Wednesday. Sentimental songs rung around my head as I got a kiss to the cheek and a warm embrace from a dear friend I am letting go of in the time being. I was standing there, after our meeting and last goodbye. For now...for now I always say. She told me she'd make me best man. I told her in response that the groom usually picks best man. She then says she'll impose it. We fool around and all. I'd rather not talk about it. I told a good friend of mine not to get started with hallucinations of us being together. Hahaha...though thanks for cheering me up. But when you've already talked about this long before hand, such suggestions become something to cheer us than disturb us overall.

Of all my great experiences with friends, why can't I have just one with "the one"?

Patience...I need you more than ever. The chilling cold of October nights bring back memories of the not-so-distant and a vision of what could have been. Then snap, the frost melts away as I shake my hand and bend over only to recover sight and see things the way they are. These things are back in place and I can't dream in real time again. Why can't I have that moment? Is it a matter of not yet? I hope it is. And if it be a matter of never, then I might as well justify every sweet sensation, every tickle to the spine when I think of my memories and my visions. They are the only things I have about her, them, myself...the moment.

For now I keep these thoughts to myself and to Jonathan Harris' time capsule project... http://timecapsule.yahoo.com/capsule.php...haha at least my thoughts get beamed to outer space and get archived for future generations of human beings and aliens to read....

Last time around I talked about how Emma Watson drove me nuts. She still does. That's why we guys have the luxury of having crushes and still be considered civil about it. Man, she looked like a full-fledged adolescent in her magazine cover shot. I think I really have it bad. And since I've pushed the envelope on these confessions, might as well go for more. The other of my short list (and I don't have a crush on someone that easily...I don't want standards but I think we all have our own boundaries) of crushes and icons of ideal women contains a woman by the name of Jennifer Garner. Again, sure I give the reader that she is beautiful, she has a great body not to mention a bounce to her step if you get what I am trying to illustrate. She's like a ramp model, and yet at one point she looks like a country girl in a cowboy hat. Get that? A very simple soul with a smile that can complicate the most unaffected glance. I was devastated when I learned she and Ben Affleck were made. But man I just adore her! She's a soft-spoken, captivating-smiling, modest and humble soul. I guess I just had to be happy seeing her with her daughter Violet. Haha, I feel for her as if we knew each other and as if she cared for me.

I always imagine the perfect incident. The time my damzel is in distress and here enters me with the sweetest of words and the heartfelt of emotions. Call me pragmatist. Be cynical about my chances. In my defense, it is in these making up of instances that will never happen like when I break her fall or when I have great conversation in Jollibee...or my idea of us (whoever "we" are) working for an international organization. Oh, Paolo, you can do better than that..."Pao sira ka talaga"...I'd prefer sira...

Hey, dreaming is for free right?

I feel like I'm in code orange right now. The state wherein the United States should kick the hell out of North Korea but would go multilateral instead which I think is a good strategy though the blabbering won't really bring in the goods. The state of being almost there but what the heck, I have more to think of...

That's code orange, it's not as pressing as red nor is it as bland as yellow.

Code orange is being excited that Sir Kraft is a couple of weeks away but knowing your taking a readings class with him. Code orange is knowing you can't be cum laude anymore but you couldn't care nonetheless and you want to make your last semester a testimony as if to say....take that!!! Hahaha...

I have this sense of urgency. I drink coffee and eat iced cookies and cream. I pulpitate and wonder I took in. Hmmm, maybe because a ton of work is but a breath away... I love it. I have no plans... God help me...whooo!

Spirited Encounters with the Third Kind

Am presently slaving the hours away waiting for a video editing session to commence here in a relatively secluded internet cafe in Katipunan Avenue. And though I do like that the airconditioning unit is 5 meters behind me chilling my hands until typing becomes such a chore and that the ambience is rather ambient, subtle, and encouraging, I can not escape from facts of my life that call out from the Third Kind. What is the Third Kind of Paolo Sanchez? Amusingly the Third Kind refers to a side of me I've known since time in memoriam. What is of interest to me is that it has never been a part of me for the longest time. Do you get my meaning? This is the phase of my life I dare not call teenage crisis or adolescent penance for the wrongs of the past because frankly I can not recall one of that gravity to impact my being. It's the lull I suppose between youthful childish play and all the reverence granted to adult life. Not but recently have I been able to feel this.

Call it the calm before the storm. Call it calm in the face of pressure. I feel so unfazed by so many things that mount around cluttered in my mind waiting for godsent attention to save me from them. Funny is, I force myself to get a grip of them and do something about it but I can't. And I'm actually smiling because I don't want to do a thing about these papers, these exams, these issues, these other work. Truth be told, I don't want them tonight. I don't want to do a thing about them.

I want to be all light and bubbly this day. I want to drape around me an aura of youth unbent by compromising with the duties set forth by the world. But I can't force myself to. And though there is much energy, perhaps my reserve fuel for the last semestral push, I can't seem to find a way to channel them to work. How can this be?

I start the day right. Iced chocolate drink and longanisa and eggs to kick things off. I browse through the daily paper. Upon getting dragged around by the Subic Rape Case and a bit on Ashton Kutcher and The Guardian, I get garlic toast and watch tv. Seeing that Van Helsing, one of my more favorite movies, was to air in Cinemax sometime lunch time made me snap my fingers in disgust. I scan the entire lineup of channels before landing CNN. Nothing new. All Republican trouble in the US and more nuke tests for North Korea up north. Hitting the second enclave of boredom, my mind tells me that there is another idiot box in the Personal Computer. I go online, thank Dr. Carlos for taking in my paper at first submission and then check a number of my Internet accounts. Nothing new. Everything a routine. The third enclave is fast approaching. I hit the breaks for more and look into my scribbled and disorganized planner. "Meeting with volunteer org 10am" I become so abnoxious about things that I find no reason to include the name of the org. To me, too many names and too much to do about everything is all and fine enough for anything else to be established in my faculties. This will be a day for reckoning anew.

Then my sister's poster of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire's image popped out of nowhere. Geesh. I was hit hard. I look outside, my usual antic to get a grip of my thoughts. I go to Google and search up Emma Watson images on the net. I take a look and sigh. I need not maximize the shots. She looks dazzling and so beautiful from afar. God I love to just stare at the screen and my crush. I've loved that girl since the first flick when she was this cute smartypants. I understood thenon she would be some woman someday. She had character. She had brains. She had a humble and selfless attitude. I should know, I read through her profile in fan sites and news articles. When I saw pictures of her drinking alcohol at sucha young age I told myself that she must have understood what she was doing. Paparazzi does this to celebrities. When I learned her parents divorced, I felt sorry and knew something like this or worse may happen. Time flew by so quickly. But while staring at Emma, I was like totally out of touch with everything. Mom went out to do the grocery. Pa was attending to the car. But all that matter then was Emma. I don't know why. But I felt so good about it. Bah, but I had a meeting come 10! I spent an hour playing NBA Live 2007 beating the hell out of Seattle with my Lakers (though I'm a fan of both teams)with Kobe, Lamar and my newly acquired Dwight Howard. Ha, take that! I was so into it that at times I paid no attention to what Marv Albert and Steve Kerr were repeatedly ranting about with Seattle's defense. I did commentaries myself. I was ACTUALLY TALKING TO MYSELF FOR PLEASURE AGAIN! I talk to myself occassionally to utter something to myself or to say a prayer on the road. This was absolutely something of the Third Kind! Damn it! Then let's go reinforce this happiness when my Atenean friend called up again. That short but really outright heartwarming conversation was followed up by another Atenean, this time, one I met in summer camp back in high school. I told him I had to pass on another hoop game because of my bad knee and well, my out-of-condition state. I mean, I don't know how to dribble anymore. I think rebounding is still there and my running one-man-hit-you-down-pressure defense is still in my playbook. But no more spin moves. No more diving for the ball. Shucks!

I spend lunch in Greenbelt, taking a peak at the latest Sony Ericsson phone models and Acer laptops. Okay OKay. Am a brand conscious, no money techy guy. But hey, though window shopping is one thing I can not put up with (I don't like going to malls without money and purpose); I can live with eye candy. Then I end up the meeting and go to KFC for a burger. I take a smooth MRT ride thinking of my EEE project. Yes, it's all coming back again! Third Kind save MEEE!!!! YES! I buy damn adobong mani and eat them walking out Araneta Center. Last time I ate on the road? Don't ask. Last time I ate adobong mani? Recently naman pero heck, iba feeling pag nilalagok mo yung mani sa wrapper. Sure I know they put preservatives on them peanuts to give the crunchy effect and all, but I'd rather take in the oil!!!!

I hail a cab and go to Katipunan for video editing, 4pm. Na-virus sila! Balik daw 7pm. Third Kind save me!!! And here I am. A rather productive and mind-easing Saturday about to unwind. My parents were inviting me for a movie trip to watch The Departed. I want to see the movie. DO I need it? Yes, been a long time since I've been inspired by a film. I here the acting's intense. OK. That's enough reason to. Martin Scorcese films always earn that ooohhhhh factor from me.

Am looking forward to more of the Third Kind tonight. How sure am I? I'm listening to the Spirit of Christmas by Jose Mari Chan! And am humming with a smile. For some reason, am getting the second wind. Exams. Papers. Council work. Org work. BUndok lang sagot ko sa inyo. Our youth ministry is looking to sponsor a filming of Happy Feet on the 24th sa Blue Wave cinemas, Marikina. I sure want to seet that baby! They're so cute. I like the animated choreography. I go join a prayer chain thereafter. Council goes up or down to Tagaytay to planning on the 27th. November? Guess what? Adidas sale and registration week preparations.

I sigh and take a good look at things I've done and failed to do. God, definitely not me or anyone else, is telling me the beauty of things from the Third Kind. Issues are corny in this realm. Politics is just something out there. Work is a dead man's curse. Ang look o, am typing another long blog. Isn't this me or what?

I'm having a spirited encounter with the Third Kind. This is definitely and by all proportions more than that corny clicheish concept of "moving on". There's this question as to from what. From what am I moving on? Uhm, nada. I qualify things according to substance and significance. Aside from one very small thing I should have let go at first point, but did not, I can't put to mind another straining event I can use as reference. And though I have my opinion on that matter, I'd prefer wearing a smile and thinking that it ain't right. The timing, the context, the crime...foolish impulsive me. But then again, I profess my hopeless romanticism and say that it was all worth it. To me it was. Basically, my emotions were just clouding the sharpness of my mind, the response of my body, the control of my soul. Emotions, emotions, a curse at times to be a sensitive person.

For now, am looking at Emma Watson again. She could be my daughter...but now, God, she could be my wife! WAHAHAHAHAHA! Pulling my leg again.

I LOVE IT. I am able to stare people in the eye. As I told Kristian and Patrick , I am on higher ground in this issue. Now I know, this perfect position isn't so in only one area of my life. And people can start making the difference only when they have sorted these things out. To my happiness, I've been able to make the difference and mean something to many people while I've struggled with the realities I have to deal with. And if this be the measure of my fortitude, so be it.

I 've always had my fortress and my tower. I was just too busy looking around to not seek shelter in it. Now my Third Kind calls to me. I know I can be someone to anyone. And as my Atenean gal pal told me: "Just believe that what you tell yourself is more than pleasant fiction. Believe Pao because I'm pretty sure that things will come to place for you. Awwww Pao, I'd hate to leave for America with you like this. I'll call you ayt? " I tell her that I do believe and she need not worry that at times I look tired and lost. She replies: "That's good to hear Pao. Listen, am not saying these things to make you feel good about yourself ha. I'll pray for you bro, and sana, kaw rin kasi tingin ko I'll need a lot of it." We end with a few jokes and stuff...

And Kristian, there can be no better position in a relationship than this. What you think I should do, we have deemed unthinkable at the present. Hahaha. Just laugh when you see my eyes drifing afar ayt?

Dedications:

Grai---seeing you perky and sweet makes me perky and sweet and huggable.
Mau---yes, I did use qualitative but to back up my quanti. God bless.
Kristian---nasabi ko na lahat sa blog na to
Jason---gumimik tayo sometime
Nyl---isa ka pa bro, usap tayo
Zen---high (isipin mo na lang ako si Sir Butch)
Catya---CAPTAIN SMITH!!!
Isha---gumaganda ka
Faiva---kaw rin...ganyan talaga pag genuine ang saya
Celine---sweet sweet Celine, kawalan niya yun
Malou---go econ!
Louie---awww, buwee!!!
Mayette---hmp, reformat ng cel? baka bago?
Ann---new move, new move!
Farrah---magna ka na after this sem, teka...since day one pa pala
Patrick---how's 186?
Val---ooohhooooo!!! balita ko tooooot
Jal---nice pics
Dom---am one with your cause, go lang nang go in the defense
sa iba pang mahal ko--- GOD SPEED SA MGA EXAMS!!!and i mean, speed wahahahaha!!!
sa KONSEHONG MALUFET---alam niyo na yan. mangabog tayo sa GASC...wahahahaha!!!!
sa mundo---keep on spinning, kasi pag hindi, deadbol na tayong lahat wahahahahaha!!!

God brings rain to the driest of ground. While the rain isn't around yet, wait and appreciate that underneath there is ground water.







Here's to a long night of editing video.

In defense of what I think is "right"

"One of the greatest things I learned at UP was that the middle stance as the correct stance, is well...a funny assertion. A blind man's perspective. A joker's. "Middle" denotes balance and equality. Can the Right ever be equal with the Left? Only in mathematical equations. Never in social reality. The Right has arms and might, while the Left derives its might only from being on the democratic side. "Middle" is only for referees in a boxing fight.

Ensure the safety of the top military official of the land by searching students' bags? Hello? is this UP? Golly, I salute those who still attended the forum despite the searches. Why would I want the organizers to peep into my lunchbox or know how many coins I've got left in my bag ?

A student organization trying to ensure the safety of the top military official? Has everyone in this university gone mad? I bet the General went there with enough bullets to finish off everyone who was at the UP campus on that day. When you've got a lot of enemies, you don't walk around with just a sandwich in your bag.

My dear pol sci majors, you've got a terribly disturbing view of the world. Maybe you're reading the wrong political science books. Or are listening to the wrong professors. Try reading Mao Tse Tung once in a while. He's the demon incarnate to many people. But there's at least a line or two in his writings that will make you cry. Read him to find out why." --------quoted from an alumnus in a web forum

Simple notes:
1. While your stereotypical definition of what is Left and Right is indeed in consonance with how the mainstream views what is Left and what is Right, I think you are being prejudicial when you asserted who is for power and might as against who is for democracy. It somehow implies who is simply oppressor and who is victim basically because you have tilted the balance of power in favor of those who have guns and legal positions. Perhaps this fuels all the more what is justification for the passionate activism of your glory days being capable of throwing things more than eggs. And perhaps you might add that you want those who fight in this way to feel good about themselves. You're entitled to that. However I disagree with how you stick to your prejudiced stance. The fault of some authors in our rich literature lies not in their passion for writing, it is in what they write about. And the fault in this case is the branding of what is Right and what is Left as if it were black and white. This can never be. As you of all people should know this history, great leaders of the Left were not hesitant to employ the ways of the Right once they got in power. In the same way, we find that not all Medieval characters associated with the conservative Right advocated the use of the sword and in fact were considered benevolent in their time. The reason why there is the center-left or the center-right is not because these people have not guts or mind to make a stand. It is moreso that they are contemplating on the pros and cons of the issue and tend to lean towards one over the other. No one is absolutely Left or Right. So don't label these reflective people as apathetic or criticizing their brand of activism. Perhaps you were using such analogy just for the specific instance of Esperon with no intention of generalizing. Granted, however when you try to mix it up with SOPs such as checking of bags and practices society accepts for its own good, I don't think you're being all too democratic now. Laws are by the people and for the people. Sure that is the ideal, but hey, most of our laws are not taken and burned in the parliament of the street. I wonder why. Maybe it is because people see it for their own good. That's democracy. That's the law. That's the standard practice. So let's not bark that loudly and label acts as something Right and Left because, heck, no one is completely Left or Right. It's just a preference, an inclination on issue areas. Even in this case, SOP is Right because its interest is the protection of power and it is conducted with the use of threat. However, its intent...to protect the people and advance common practice and interest I think is what's so beautiful about the Left. And no, I need no Marx to find that out for myself.

2. What's so wrong with having your bag checked? You feel violated? You feel UP is under attack because someone has your bag checked? As for those brave souls who attended the forum, some of them did not hesitate and comment on the bag-checking. How cute. Again, what's so annoying about the SOP? What makes your head turn and your hears to flap everytime you see things or hear things you think is equal to trampling on your rights? Geesh. I do not want to generalize members of your movement. I know a lot of them and I respect their ardent views on the matter. And they respect mine. They respect that when they are on my turf, I tell them of what to expect and what not to do about it. The forum and other such situations and conditions are always a creation of somebody else. You're just a player. You are not God carrying your omnipotence around and having an answer to everything. You may not like the rules of the turf or may actually do. Do you throw eggs? No. Oh sure Esperon deserved the eggs. However I say again that it is not all about you this time. It's about UP. Mind you, UP as an institution needs all that good media it could get, forgive the sarcasm. Its reputation precedes it and it has not always been clear and bright. So do not argue that UP is UP and people should expect to be treated that way in UP. We're better than that. We are a melting pot of ideas. And to my recollection, ideas can kill but only when the thinker allows the idea to. It's about your rights ending when some other person's rights begin. Respect. Decency. Being proper. Let's not throw these out the window. Not especially when both movements, the Left and Right theorists, seek this kind of world at the end of the struggle. Let not our ways be the mere prism of how we are judged. Let not our ways be the downfall of our person. Let not our ways be all that we think we are. Restraint friend. Freedom, whatever form that may be, comes for a price. And sometimes, what are proper and decent have to set the boundaries. In the end, we live happier than we do without it. The good life, right? Touche.

3. I am glad at the rallying of a lot of Political Science majors behind their stand on the issue. That is regardless of what they thought about it. We may never agree at one time, but at least we know our convictions. Even if this demands we go beyond party lines and embrace a position we all think should be the appropriate one. Again, in a world of anarchy, let those that bring good prevail. Being proper. Being appropriate. I am proud of my discipline and the people that have made it so. We are not being poisoned in this department to be administration hooligans and Maoist cyborgs. We are instead disturbed, twisted, bent to the point of breaking so that we do not come up with labels like admin hooligans and Maoist cyborg without proof and reason. Scholarship advances in such painful ways. It does not compromise. It bears only the truth. And when it no longer does, then it is not scholarship but some propaganda. Sadly, the Left and the Right employ such pragmatic tactics to their liking. It is the challenge then to Political Scientists to correct the praxis by reverting back to the ideal and the fundamental. Not even Macchiavelli can be all that bad. He can be idealist as well. We are trying our best to defend this scholarship as if it were the only thing we could own. Matter of opinion, it is the only one of few things that can last. (Haha, love can be another) So we read books. So we make our position after careful weighing. Disagree if you may but do not use assumptions and fallacious arguments simply because your action was proven wrong and you think you're right. Put a stopper to it when you have to.

The night is long and my sleepless nights rage on. Three days. This has been the worse I've undergone. Here's to the fourth and fifth night! Thank God for re-schedules! Thank God for good company. Thank God for your ideas, all of them.

Thank God for Political Science. And yes, God was the first politician. When He decided to share the power to live and become, He made the first ideal political decision. He chose to share, not keep all things to Himself. He knows us all too well and at times it's unfair. However I argue, what's the point of enjoying all good things in life when you're not alive. He gave us life and this chance at eternity. I think that is unfair to Him as well. But He did not think so. Maybe we shouldn't as well.

Jesus Christ was an activist Himself. Agree with me on Him after reading the crappy history of the Da Vinci Code or not, he lived. Disagree or not, he was the Left and the Right personified. Unfair that we can't be him. We don't have to be.

Scholarship advances is such a beautiful way. Pick your tools. Pick your prisms. One can never be the answer to everything. I've chosen mine.