I have a PhD in M.D.

I have a PhD in M.D.

Manic-Depression that is

Merong mga araw kagaya nito kung saan isang minuto ang lakas mo, parang kaya mong gawin lahat pero pagkatapos mong isipin ang mangilang bagay ay sobrang low mo na, para kang pinagkaitan ng uno sa pol sci.

So parang ang saya-saya ko diba, I guess a great night in church kagabi uploading a Bible version for the PC and then having chow and chat with ministry-mates does your spirit some good. I mean, not only because we think the same way on particular issues, share the same biases, and share the same interests, pero the feeling u have na yes at home ako dito, yes I can move freely and be open to these people and get this, they won't think na ala ka sa lugar. So parang habang sineset-up nila yung stage for today dumating si pastor para mag-hello, kami naman nasa church HQ nag-aayos ng mga IDs and stuff para sa mga volunteers. So yun, kahit puyat ang puno ko ng energy, as if ang metabolic rates ko ay nasa all-time high at ang brain fluids ko na ginagamit ko for brainstorming at concept-making ay dumadagusdos na parang tsunami sa Phuket.

And then pag-uwi ko sa bahay, aba nood muna ng kunting cartoons sa Disney para ala lang, matuwa at makyutan. Cartoons have this effect on people, they make you wish you were young so that you could just break free and dance to the tune of your favorite cartoon flicks. For example, si Spongebob, he has this innocence (at kahinhinan) that when used with the unique humor found in his show, can be a very effective formula to penetrate even the most stonecold of adults. So yun, I was like feeding on fossil fuel kasi parang diesel e, nag-iinit pa lang ako, 2 am na hahaha. So text lang ako ng text to friends at nalaman ko na si Rania pala ay may blog at yung isa kong friend ay pupunta pala sa US of A. So I was happy for all those people I contacted coz seemingly, everyone was in good spirits.

So gising ako ng 7:30, aba sarap ng tender juicy hotdog...ma-juice! And then, there's tortang eggs and ewan giniling ata, basta...so it came to me that only one condiment was needed: KETCHUP please Luis! MMMMMMMMm, sarap ng umagahan ko!

But wait, churchtime na so bihis ako, all black attire a-la MIB: Men in Barong...nyehehe joke naka polo shirt lang me. So ang saya, and then saya ng biyahe, malamig, masarap, sarap pa kagating yung mentos chewables kasi parang ewan yung vitamins...kakabiting nga lang kc when it sort of melts in your mouth, it loses flavor so you have no choice than to chew it so chew it and voila! Ubos na!

The next minute though, I stopped to think...and I wish I never did.

I thought...siomai...Thursday am back in UP...I have to finish enrolment and not to mention, finish math 100.

And then...everything went to a stop...I paid no notice to the cheer of people around me.

I was depressed, knowing that the task ahead is that huge and that much.

Depressed din ako dun para sa mga indi sumasagot sa mga SMS KO, lalo na si _ _ R _ _ _JOKE!

And then I sighed and thought, it's a good thing our minds were not built like computers...that when one file becomes corrupt..the system fails coz it gives up and takes not much effort to find solutions or any amount of relief.

So I told my mind, not now, not when the world is spinning fast but people become so slow coz they feel every action they do, they want to know kung nangangawit na ba sila sa smiles nila, or kung magaspang ba yung kamay ng kinamayan ko, or maganda ba ang selection of songs for today.

Not now...

And so minungkahi ng doctor in me na it's all in the head. indi ka MD>..OA ka lang hahaha. I guess so too. Once u put your head into it ang dali actually...so just think of the end of the rainbow and the right people to get you there and the rainbow itself would be a breeze.

Sabog ako ngayon, dahil am in my manic mood...guess what, having the right mindset does work. It's all in the head...well not all actually.

90% of things are good, 10% bad, if we allow the 10% to dominate, then we ruin our perspective and become pessimists. It's not that we force our minds to think positively...

btw...positive thinking and thinking positively are different...I prefer the latter.

We think positive thoughts and see the good out of the worst because we believe that there is indeed good...and not that we force to bet false hopes on a hopeless case.

If we believe that the devil has some heart inside, then perhaps we could understand the smallest portion of him that is still a creation of God.

If we believe that pol sci is meant for the betterment of the people and not a mere way to earn a living, then we could at least feel excited in the everyday we face majors next sem.

If we believe that good thoughts mean a lot and inspire us to live, then we are able to tolerate a bombardment of frustrating depressing ones we face everyday.

Computers use the binary code...we use a complex code that incorporates a logical/rational part---the binary, and the irrational---an uncodified part of our brains that if used well should make us feel great about reality...no matter how hard it gets.

And so, you end up with a PhD in life.