Most of these are true, others...am willing to throw into an argument

Check the link at the bottom, very insightful though barely perfect and at times, ambiguous. But what the heck...

You entered: Paolo Sanchez

There are 12 letters in your name.
Those 12 letters total to 54
There are 5 vowels and 7 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:

Latin	Male	Variant of Paul: Little; small.
Italian	Male	Italian form of Paul: Small.

Your number is: 9

The characteristics of #9 are: Humanitarian, giving nature, selflessness, obligations, creative expression.

The expression or destiny for #9:
The expression that you exhibit is represented bythe number 9. Your talents center in humanistic interests and approaches. You like to help others as you were intended to be the 'big brother or big sister' type. You operate best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion, and allow yourself to be sensitive to the needs of others. You work well with people, and have the potential to inspire. This suggests that you could successfully teach or counsel. Creative ability, imagination and artistic talent (often latent) of the highest order are present in this expression. It's possible that you're not using or developing all of these capabilities at this time. Some of your talents may have been used at an earlier time in your life, and some may still be latent. Be aware of your capabilities, so that you can make use of them at appropriate times.

If you are able to achieve the potential of your natural expression in this life, you are capable of much human understanding and have a lot to give to others. Your personal ambitions are likely to be maintained in a very positive perspective, never losing sight of an interest in people, and a sympathetic, tolerant, broad-minded and compassionate point of view. You are quite idealistic, and disappointed at the lack of perfection in the world. You have a strong awareness of your own feeling as well as those of others. Friendships, affection, and love are extremely important.

Undeveloped or ignored, the negative side of the 9 expression can be very selfish and self-centered. If you do not actively involve yourself with work that benefits others, you may tend to express just the opposite characteristics. It is your role to be very involved with other people and their needs, but it may be difficult for you achieve this role. Aloofness, lack of involvement, and a lack of sensitivity mark the low road of this expression.

Your Soul Urge number is: 1

A Soul Urge number of 1 means:
Your Soul Urge is the number 1. With a Soul Urge number of 1, you want to lead and direct, to work independent of supervision, by yourself or with subordinates. You take pride in your abilities and want to be recognized for them. You may seek opportunities to display your strength and usefulness, wanting to create and originate. In your desire to manage the big picture and the main issues, you may often leave the details to others.

The positive 1 Soul Urge is Ambitious and determined, a leader seeking opportunities. There is a great deal of honesty and loyalty in this character. If you possess positive 1 Soul Urge qualities, you are very attainment oriented and driven to success. You are a loyal friend and strictly fair in your business dealings.

The negative side of the 1 Soul Urge must be avoided. A negative 1 is apt to dominate situations and people; the home, the spouse, the family and the business. Emotions aren't strong in this nature. If you possess an excess of 1 energy, you may, at times, be boastful and egotistic. You must avoid being too critical and impatient of trifles. The great need of the 1 Soul Urge is the development of friendliness, and a sincere interest in people.

Your Inner Dream number is: 8

An Inner Dream number of 8 means:
You dream of success in the business or political world, of power and control of large material endeavors. You crave authority and recognition of executive skills. Your secret self may have very strong desire to become an entrepreneur.

Copyright © 2006 Paul R. Sadowski (http://www.paulsadowski.com)

FOR MORE!!!

What Makes Men Fall in Love?

Posted by David Zinczenko

on Thu, Mar 15, 2007, 11:34 am PDT

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Judging from the kind of mail we get at Men's Health from men seeking relationship advice, I can tell you this definitively about men: When a man falls for a woman, he falls hard. Men love to be in love. While men often get stereotyped as single-minded sex-seekers, the truth is that a man's stomach churns like a slushy machine when he's in those initial stages of the perfect relationship.

When you consider that half of men say that they're currently not with their soul mates, that means a heck of a lot of slushy machines are waiting to be turned on. What are they waiting for? What makes a man fall in love? After you rule out the obvious intangible laws of chemistry, attraction, and being in the right place at the right time that kick-start many a relationship, I think the question really becomes this: What makes a man fall -- and stay -- in love? About 60 percent of men deem friendship the most important thing in a relationship (sex comes in at a skimpy 8 percent, according to a national Harris Interactive poll), but let's delve a little deeper. What exactly does that mean, and what kind of woman does a man really want? With full acknowledgement that men's tastes in women are as unpredictable as the plotline of "24," these are some of things that many men value in "the one."

A Woman with a Passion in Something Other Than Him

Yes, it's nice to be doted over. Yes, it's nice to be pampered. Yes, it's nice to be with a woman who showers you with compliments, neck kisses, and all of her attention. But there's a virtual Great Wall of China between a fleeting, flirtatious glance and the kind of attraction that can last a lifetime. Many men say they like a woman who's immersed in something else other than the relationship -- be it her work, or her sport, or whatever her "thing" is. Why? The passion she shows for something else confirms her inherent goodness, her personal drive, her independence. All pluses in the woman we're hoping to spend a few decades with.

A Woman with No Problem with Guy Time

Every relationship has to choreograph the time-together dance. Once a couple elevates from casual to serious, it goes through that period when most waking and sleeping minutes are spent together. But at some point in the dance, one person will call a time out from the music of coupledom, and try to spend more time with his or her friends -- while still being careful not to step on any feet in the process. Even when they're with the most perfect woman, men still crave the occasional space to spend golfing or drinking or doing whatever (64 percent of men are happy to have the time to themselves when their wives or girlfriends have plans). Men love, appreciate, and are thankful for women who respect and endorse (and not complain about) his need to have a few testosterone mixers. Don't worry, March Madness will be over in just a few weeks!

A Woman with a Strut

Her strut in the bar may have been part of his initial attraction. The strut from the bedroom to the bathroom after the first night together may have been pure visual ecstasy. But the strut that happens day in and day out is one of the major attractors for a man. What do I mean by the strut? It's that attitude, that sassiness, that confidence, that charisma, that charm that shows she can be a little bold and little daring. In a recent post I talked about the line between a woman being confident and a woman being so aggressive that she turns men away, but the truth is that in certain aspects of relationships, men want women who have the strut. Men want to be with women who challenge them, who push them, and who take the lead some of the times. And that's as true in the bedroom as it is in planning their next weekend getaway. The danger? While it can be insanely attractive, that strut of confidence can also swing a man 180 degrees -- if she uses it in other places, like to flirt with other guys, to become a relationship dictator, or to pick a fight with his mom in front of the whole family. He'll point that kind of strut right out the door.

A Woman with a Good Taste in Ties

Okay, so we don't really care about the ties per se. But what we care about is a woman's ability to give us a little-and this is a key word-gentle guidance. I know Freudian followers will say that it's a man's need to be mothered, but it's more than that. Every relationship is a give and take, and guys will definitely take women who can warn us when our new soul patch looks stupid, who can guide us to the perfect suit and shirt combo for an upcoming job interview, who can help them make decisions without being harsh or judgmental. Guys like to project that they know what they're doing and that they don't need any help. Women who can help steer us, without aggressively grabbing the wheel, are the most treasured copilots.

Grasping plethora

After much ado about so many things in my life, I feel so unprepared of my entering a new crossroad in my life. That's the feeling you get when you're about to submit one of your last papers, when you're at the receiving end of your grades coming at you without second guess, when your term as Councilor and as officer elsewhere ends, and when people start inviting you to send-off parties. It gives me the creeps actually. I've gotten so comfortable to the atmosphere in UP. I reminisce and recall the day I told myself, getting that white envelope informing me of my entry to UP that I was to embark on a trip to the real world. Apparently, for all the allegories and comparisons of society being a microcosm in UP, it is never the same thing out there and here. You begin to ask yourself whether the course you took really equips you to do anything worth noting...and to some, worth earning.

Moving, moving, never ceasing...

Everything and everyone else for that matter is moving on and moving to some condition they think is best for them. Be it taking immediately an MA course or law or be it finding a job and perhaps, a life. In a way, I think I haven't been too clear to myself about my plans. The clear path thus far is to wait. Not in the sense of becoming a bum and laying low. I guess I have to find a suitable occupation and set on my career path. I do this while waiting on a scholarship that could hopefully help me propel myself to higher education abroad. I don't want to name schools but I have a select few I may have mentioned before. With the course I intend to take for MA, I have no doubts that I as a scholar am to grow in an area I believe I am passionate about. Still, even if I get the best education, there are no guarantees I end up in my envisioned role in society and in the context I have dreamed of since a child. Sadly, crystal bowls have ran out of market value sometime after the Medieval Ages. And I guess I don't want to know what awaits me. Instead, I tell myself to work for my dreams. I haven't shut the doors of the corporate sector, though very limited offers are there for one trained in my craft. Toff gives me the nudge and tells me corporate social responsibility. I smile in agreement. But agree is agree does---makes you feel better, doesn't change the whole picture.

Was with the outgoing Council at Wok This Way the other night. Seeing dear friends and colleagues can be such a joy, such a refreshment to the weary soul. You try to combat the world and wear your mask but the world can at times devour you. For this reason I find no time to reason with gossip and speculation. I find truth in the stance of many that to fully realize your potential, you stay true to yourself and let the world decide. Seeing Ado and the rest of the Council enjoy never-ending laughter (thanks to Aiza who seems to have rebounded to the nth level) and stories and plans for the future makes you think you're in a movie and the story is about to come to a stop and the credits are about to roll. There is something pleasant in that, something that makes you want to sigh and breathe air that you thought you lost when you signed up for a career against the world. The night, simple as it was, turned out to be very momentous. Besides, I enjoy my private time with family and friends in the scarcity of time and resources allowable to me. In that world, politics becomes an anecdote. Real events in time have become historical selectivities that come back in fleeting moments, of intervals of five minutes or perhaps when Aiza breaks in story or when Marize wins us over with her accent. Academics...ha, let's not deal with them.

It can be to idealistic that you get what you want at the get go of your professional career. Your UP pride tells you that at entry level, your competence make you earn at least 30k. Reality tells you the harsh tale and offers you call centers and research work, no demeaning involved. Only a few enter the higher posts and chances are, competition is just as stiff. We talk of grandiose institutions and think tanks, only to find out they hire people with two things (1) competence reaching to the MA echelon at least, and (2) EXPERIENCE. 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, it doesn't matter so as along as you have experience. Ha, I laugh and wish myself luck. I am, in a way afraid of the future. It is very much like Pandora's Box only that you can't tell yourself it's a myth or that you're having a bad dream. You eventually live the future, and that's the scary part.

But I guess, enduring the final year of my stay in UP has equipped me to face the world with a fresh mind set and a well-rounded person. I may have my masks, but at the least, I can get to wash my face in between changing them. I take time to listen to good advice. I had a number of dates the past week and am looking forward to more time with friends. I invest in these moments and have often been misjudged for my motives, which to me is both very surprising and very shallow. Some friends share stories. Some share plans. Some rant about life and love. I can't help but pay much attention. Alfredo has lost its creamy texture. Iced tea seems to pass through your taste buds without causing any sensation. I tell myself that I punish myself at times. Hearing people tell me that they should not be judged for what they project outside...the act of convincing me they are good people and that they are going through trials in a difficult life...that kind of stuff...I smile and thank God I'm right at the other side of the table. I tell myself, if these friends of mine can be so passionate in the defense of their right to be understood for what they are, then I find no reason not to invoke the same right in my case.

Heck, I'd love to use that right when I tell my side of the story...

I have a wealth of stories now, few listeners. Better that way I tell myself than commit error. Talking too much can lead to more undoing. And since I have been mum about personal matters and even professional ones, my side of the story ain't heard. At times I think it's selfish to make people hear me out and get my point on all this lunacy. But hearing all those friends of mine and feeling obliged to do something about their relationships, their career choices, even their academics, I think I should have time to get my message across. But I am not such a person. I am not as expressive, or am I as straightforward about things. My mask still covers a wide area of me that I am not ready to share with people yet. Besides, things I have exposed about my life have already been put under the microscope and misinterpreted.

I will be very blatant about these matters:

1. My career as a leader. Life in politics can never be a life of pleasing everybody. My side of the story: It can really get to my nerves when people seemingly lack appreciation and go out of their way to scrutinize your Council, EVEN A SIMPLE THANK YOU from you can become a propagandizing opportunity to them. They always seek error, seek weakness, seek to see things their way. I am very much angered. But I choose not to retaliate. Besides, people who know the TRUTH are all over defending this great Council. We do not ask for recognition. We know what we accomplished and we have the MONOPOLY OVER THE FACTS. I feel it unfair at times that the Secretary-General has the duty of Information Officer---so that the insults are directed at you. And sadly, I find these comments shallow and unfounded. At times, I get a bit ticked when people (at least one and I won't be clear on that person's gender or background so don't take clues at face value) asked me what I did for the Council as an individual. This type of person who'd run names of people he claimed to KNOW REALLY WORKED FOR THE COUNCIL and decides to uhm...leave out the person he is conversing with ( which happens to be me, and if I were arrogant enough I'd tell that person that I WORKED MY HEART FOR THIS COUNCIL SO DO AWAY WITH NAMES PAL). Hindi lang talaga ako mahilig magbilang ng accomplishments ko at ng Council na ito kaya swerte mo di ko na kinailangan debatihin ka. If only I could utter "Excuse me..." in that person's face and shame him all the more. I dare not. I need not stoop down to his level. Besides, to each his own.


FOR MORE RANT-athon! RANDOM LANG PALA ITONG SUSUNOD. VENTING OUT LANG FRIENDS. DON't WORRY MGA READERS, DI NYO NAMAN KILALA TO. COMPOUNDING LANG TALAGA ANG PAGKAASAR KO SA MGA TAONG GANITO.

2. My personal life outside UP. Ah, Arendt must be a bit disappointed how one's personal life can be so subject to useless intrigue. Personally, ayoko sa taong maisyu. Pinipili ko ang mga kinukwentuhan ko at inaasahan ko na susuklian nila ng tiwala ang, basically, ang tiwala ko. At lubos ako magtiwala, even the realist side of me. Pero ano magagawa ko, maraming nakapalibot sa akin na ganun na lang ang overwhelming concern sa tsismis in the guise of "concern" over your well-being. AMININ NA NATIN HARAPAN, people have pre-conceived notions about somebody. May taong ayaw mo lang talaga dahil siguro pangit siya AT DAHIL DI SIYA PASADO SA STANDARDS MO. Add to that a testimony from another party at lalong mavavalidate ang opinion mo about that person. ANG PAKIUSAP KO LANG, SANA MADINIG DIN NAMAN ANG TAONG HINUHUSGAHAN NIYO. SANA KAUSAPIN NIYO SIYA DAHIL KAWAWA NAMAN SIYA AT NAHATULAN WITHOUT ANY SORT OF TRIAL. PAPASOK PA NAMAN KAYO SA LAW SCHOOL. SANA HINDI PURO KURO-KURO AT SANA LAMANG, HUWAG NIYONG ISIPIN NA MAY KARAPATAN KAYONG LAPITAN ANG TAONG ITO PARA BIGYAN NG "LIFE-CHANGING" ADVICE KUNG ANG ALAM NIYO LANG NAMAN AY ANG ISANG BERSYON NG KUWENTO. PLEASE. AND DON'T CLAIM YOU UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL OR HOW OTHER PEOPLE FEEL. YOU CAN'T. DON'T ADD INSULT TO MY INJURY. DON'T COMMENT ON ME SA HARAP NG IBA OR TO CHANGE YOUR WAYS WHEN I AM AROUND AS IF TO SHOW NA PAGOD KA LANG OR IRITA KA SA MUNDO PARA DI AKO PANSININ. TAPOS PAG AKO NAMAN ANG DI PUMANSIN SA IYO DAHIL PAGOD AKO FROM U.P. LIFE AKO NA NGAYON ANG MASAMA. TAPOS AKO NA NGAYON ANG TUMUTULAK SA IYO PAPALAYO. AKO NA NGAYON ANG AYAW NG ADVICE??? COME ON! I HAVE MY CIRCLE OF ADVISERS, IN UP PA LANG UMAAPAW NA SILA. BESIDES, I DECIDE ON MY OWN ACCORD. KUNG WALA NAMAN BASIHAN ANG MGA PINAGKAKAKALAT MO. PLEASE LANG.

OH BY THE WAY, DI AKO GALIT HA. Well, hindi pa. Mahirap akong galitin e =)

Hay, ayan nakapag-release na ako! Hay Grai, sana mag-date tayo soon for more catching up. Mega thanks sa CCC for our send-off party last Friday. Nakaka-touch. Kina Dan, Lester and Don to name a few, maraming-maraming salamat. I love the token. I appreciated the intention to honor us. I feel I did not deserve it, given my limited service in CCC. Oh but thank you and God bless. Tapos na ako with Mara and sweet new Sec-Gen Missy sa ChocoKiss. Who's next na ililibre ni Papa Bear? Tama ka Tacio, lilitaw na ang mga sunflowers. I bought my sablay na and I pray to God na maisuot ko na siya sa Abril. haha, 193 results ay lalabas na bukas for more!

May movie project pa pala ako, a short film for the "Clash of the Unbound". Sobrang may passion pala ako for script-writing and directing. Akala ko nung una confined lang to sa written media at sa literature. But no, I actually love inspiring minds visually and capturing souls with a good story. Hay, my only regret is that we did not have enough time and resources. But that's what makes independent/amateur films so great---their raw, innocent form.

After my papers expect a radically different blog entry---a more positive one, less offensive sa mga dapat patamaan. Actually, hehe, am not clear kung sino, basta ayoko lang talaga sa mga taong may ganitong qualities at pag-uugali. Swerte sila hanggang blog lang ako OR PA LANG AKO.

God, please extend my patience to see through shallow minds and my own failings...

Time to strike back

1. That I have two challenging papers ahead. Not that I don't find other papers pieces of cake. I base the challenge on two things (1) that this is PolSc 144 and I feel pretty passionate about International Relations and the other being in PI and Sir Ambeth Ocampo who's just as unpredictable as the weather reported to us and (2) that it's the home stretch and no one wants to be a step behind.

2. Speaking of being a step behind, I plan on working for at least a time or a span of a contract whilst I wait for scholarships and enrollment abroad in a prospective university that offers a course I am interested in. Right now, it's the Security Studies program at the Australian National University or a diplomacy career at Georgetown University. Do I feel great that semblances of me and Sir Kraft are slowly becoming commonalities in reality? Ofcourse! I could only hope our commonalities extending far beyond the academic. Hehe, wink wink...a handful know of what I'm talking about =) My fallback? MIS in UP. Best of all, no pressure to deliver on the short-term. Heck, I don't even plan on using connections to get a job. Maybe some RnR after graduation...experiencing the bum life. And when i feel that insatiable urge to do something big...then I know I'm being called to deliver on my higher purpose. So, step behind? Nah. More of taking life in stride.

3. That I have to wear shorts to UP more often in the remaining weeks. I just don't get it why people react, or in my way of seeing it, overreacting to my wearing of shorts one time. It isn't a pleasant sight! All you see is flesh and curly thick hair! Plan on waxing it? NO!

4. I miss ChocoKiss food! Fulfilled my promise to date Mara there. We had a very enlightening discussion...though enlightening here is tackled in its romantic sense...hehe. I plan on taking the next Sec-Gen, Missy Gonzales there for some pointers and last words. Go Buklod! Go Alyansa! Reaffirmation? I think it is also proving to the community that our voices do matter and our accomplishments are recognized. I felt devastated for Nikka, Deyya and Sasa. If any consolation, I felt proud they handled it with poise and a renewed sense of commitment. We love you guys. Such a valiant effort you gave us. I also congratulate those who won. Viktor...Jeff...the choice of sacrifice indeed pays off. I know how it is like to be a last minute candidate. It does not surprise me that we end up winning after the long climb. Truly, no one gets left behind. To Nikka, I know you're driven to lead and prove a point. Just don't be consumed by a dream. Instead, refocus. Rethink and see what people really need...and from the party, they need a leadership formation that is long-term oriented.

I also enjoyed hosting the Miting de Avance. I did for more deeper reasons, ryt Charm and Ado? The pageantry, the intrigue, the depth, the shallowness...wow. Hard to believe I saw it from nearly all angles---the incumbent Councilor, the Buklod execom memeber, the supporter and once, an innocent onlooker.

5. I had a very touching gift from the Volunteer Corps in our culmination night yesterday. After addressing unfounded attacks by so-called leaders of our studentry accusing this Council of doing nothing, I get more than my fair share of assurance---a token that ALMOST sent me crying. I thank the VolCorps. We have done more than our mandate requires of us. I say the same for my beloved Council. Together, we have done exceedingly and let no one person say otherwise for the proof are all over! Carry on the challenge of being IBA and being excellent in the service! After checking debates online, I thank those strangers and friends who defended the Council against unfounded accusations and completely misguided conclusions. And yes, let the one without sin cast the deadly stone.

6. I'm beginning to develop an Erika Mayoni-type trust issue. I don't know. After experiencing much in the hands of former allies and friends who seemingly have an opinion about everything, I assess my person and decide that my time to hit back has come. It's only that, I don't choose to. It's the idealist-realist divide in me of some sorts. I can hurt people. All my life, I could have just but lifted a finger and schemed chaos on someone with the stomach to make falseties work against me. But I haven't encountered such people. And I guess we all change. Instead of saying "I told you so" or that "You are wrong about me and those I defend", I just stay calm and reflect. I find truth in saying that my justice lies in God's hands. It's rather insulting that these people also refer to God as the source of their faith and still have the gall to commit impulsive judgments about me, what I do or how I conduct my life on the simple basis of hearsay or mere speculation. I'm sorry. If you don't like me, tell me. But don't assume I'll change as if only to conform to your version of what you believe I should be. I hold my head up high. And if it so happens you just don't understand me, or do not comprehend the grandiosity of my dreams for this forsaken world, then don't dare come up to me and give me comments about me based on outlandish sentiments and miscconceptions. POLITICS aside. Sometimes I ask, why the hell should I tell you my side of the story? You're made up about the entire thing anyway. You'll give me your account of a tale and tell me to change. Well, much appreciated. But no thank you. Good advice is only as good as it portrays reality it attempts to resolve. Much like a Miting de Avance spectator--hello, they're brandishing their colors for heaven's sake! In a way, my blog has been my propaganda machine to pour my heart out. If you think you're being hit by what I say now. Think again before you do something about it. I have been misjudged, misread and misunderstood before...sadly, most in my most fulfilling stay in UP. Think again because I have no time for more gossip and more constructed lies. I care about you. And no dear readers, am talking about an entirely different entity here. Do not betray my trust friend. I've said the same things about a traitor in my midst once. Don't be the second. It didn't work out well for him. Matter of fact, he's begging I restore my faith in him, as if it would do him much. I just listen and sigh. Bakit kaya? Karma. Tamaan na ang tamaan.

And if you feel intimidated, naiilang or nayayabangan sa akin...I could just offer a smile and allow you to think your thoughts over. You're better than that.

7. The real thing I don't like about blogs---it's all about you or me. I did this, I went there, I bought such, I feel this way...if you read blogs abroad you find a lot of them talking of organizations, of advocacies, of opinions. Sure, they're all personal as well. But by the measure of what I read and I talk about, I feel ashamed. Sorry if I put value-judgment on my ranking. But to me, it's more than just us being Filipinos or Asians who tend to be more personal and more introspective. If we think this way, I argue that progress may find a difficult time to be part of a realistic agenda. Maybe we could all talk about grand plans, of world issues, of things the public can relate to other than making our stories crawl their way to the reader's consciousness. The time of the "I" has gone too far. Besides, all you get is gossip and a misreading of what you type. Sorry, am just being a pragmatist here.

I've thought it over and I say again. I prefer to keep a side of me kept to myself. I prefer to wear a mask hiding the other half of my face or my eyes in a party. Why? There are some things I am comfortable sharing to other people, some I'd rather be vague about such as some entries in my blog, and a significant percent to myself. I tell people I am a morbid, self-consuming masochist. Maybe. I'm not telling. I guess I've given hints of what I can do to people. Then again, I'd rather be happy. Which is why I am happy. Which is why I pray at night. Which is why I encode long blogs.

God be the light on our path.